Here you are again, talking nonsense with yourself, fighting battles no one has ever heard of. I know, I know life has been so tough this year; who’d have thought we’d get this far, right? It’s difficult, it always has been – fixing something that is not broken, going somewhere without you knowing where. And no matter how many times you tell yourself that the universe will conspire to make everything happen, you know it won’t always work that way. No amount of hugs, kisses, and beautifully crafted words will band aid something that has not been wounded in the first place. No, there’s nothing wrong with you. They can’t see it. Even you, can’t see it. But you knew deep down there is a catastrophe bound to happen. Day by day you are collapsing behind those smiles and jokes you somehow mastered to come up. Fear crept into your system that you’ve been seeing things, hearing voices, assuming something that never existed. Behind the walls you’ve built for security are the demons working within you. But you kept your mouth shut. No one will understand you. Such a pity to consider a dilemma so far-flung from societal problems. But you are hungry, you are oppressed, you are totally devastated more than these words could describe.
But I want you to know that no matter how terrible your cards are, the fact that you came to live up to this day, mean that this is just a phase you have to go through. Like a boring chapter of that book you’ve been reading, you have to get through it. No, there is no assurance that things will get better, no assurance of a happy ending but surely soon enough you’ll understand why you have to go all through this pain. Someday, it will all make sense. I hope you’d get through that “Someday”.