Watching Haikyu!! brought back those years. The crazy energy. The drive. The willingness to practice. The team. So nostalgic. It was the answer to Kei Tsukishima’s question on the first season of the series: if it was just a club activity, why spend so much energy and put your heart into it?
But Nam Do-san of Start-Up Kdrama series made me realize that I’m not a hopeless case. That not everyone can practically manage raising themselves like Ji-pyeong. That it’s okay to not know where you’re going. That it’s fine to have insecurities – and compare yourself to others. That you just have to continue because along the way you will meet people or experience events that will help you answer this existential question. You just have to trust the process.
I’ve been playing Mobile Legends for more than two years now, and by far, it’s the longest that stayed in my phone. That alone is already an achievement. I thought it was just some kind of bandwagon ride, of boredom – that I’ll get over and delete soon. But looking at it right now, maybe it stayed that long for a reason.
But in this daunting age of social media, creativity greatly requires courage. Whatever you post online can either make or break you – even your own opinion, thoughts, or stories. My write-ups weren’t spared from such criticisms. They became subjects of not so healthy arguments. And the critics – or shall I say bashers – didn’t settle with just scrutinizing; they went below the belt. Personal attacks were fired. Curses flew like confetti in a raging war. But you know what hurt the most? It’s when trusted allies turn their backs on you.
What is my purpose? We’ve all been suffering from this notion: of not finding the reason why we live, of not playing a big role in the great tapestry of life. When this question is left unanswered, this becomes an unhealthy concept that we end up trying to question every single day. But what we fail to see is that: purpose does not have a stable meter. It does not need to be superbly great. It does not focus on one single goal.
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