Better quit, hiking won’t make you sexy


There are two questions that have been obsessively asked by many that whenever I hear them, my ears bleed: when will I get married and why didn’t I get slimmer even after several years of hiking. It’s easy to get used to snubbing these off, but there are days when the weather’s not good and all I ever wanted is to slap hard these people in the face.

While in the Filipino culture, this has been a way of making “kumusta” or getting updates on what’s going on with each other’s lives, I sometimes find it offensive when you hear it from the same (group) people. Body shaming has been taken lightly and often supported by many, but here allow to me explain on that “sexy brain” of yours why I will never, as in NEVER fall under that slim (sexy, “fit”, body goals) category of yours.

What does Science say about this?

According to medical studies, hiking is a powerful cardio workout that can lower risks of having heart disorders, improve blood and sugar levels, boost bone density, build strengths in glutes, quadriceps, hamstrings, and muscles in both hips and the lower legs. Most importantly, this improves balance and shows positive impact on combating symptoms of stress and anxiety (Dr. Kara Robinsons, On a recent research conducted, it was found out that hiking mountains has a higher percentage of fighting common mental health instead of the regular treadmill exercise as the diverse sceneries of forests, mountains, and beaches are way more fascinating and stimulating than the walls of an average gym.

Photo credits: Guada Artworks (See more inspiring graphics on FB Page)

Sadly, after having read several studies and articles, I have never encountered a scientific study that supported how hiking can make you get that “36-24-36” vital stats. It would make someone fit, most especially if done on daily basis, but never been proven to achieve that sexy body you’ve been dreaming of. Thus, your out of basis hypothesis is nulled. However, if there are related studies that you can send to me and would support your claim, feel free to send me the link. I’d be more than willing to delete this blog if I’m mistaken.

What does my genes say about this?

Screenshot photo captured from Twitter account of Chienna Filomeno

Recently, the post of Chienna Filomeno trended because of her rant about people who kept on asking why she never get fat. With emphasis on metabolism, she pointed how she was able to maintain her slim figure no matter how healthy her appetite is. Same story goes with us, “fat people”. I am my daddy’s girl – like literally, from body structure to mood swings and the way I bluntly speak my thoughts. It was as if God’s response on my father’s outrage when he found out that his first born was, unfortunately, a girl. It’s like, “Hey, don’t get too upset. At least I made a girl version of you.” Genes play a huge role on developing that “ideal body” and not everyone is gifted with such. You don’t expect apple trees to bear mango fruits. In short, if you have not so tall, not so sexy, not smart parents… at least you know you’re not adopted. HAHA. Kiddin’. Well, this only proves how diverse we are, how unique each one is; and that no matter how different we are from each other, we have to respect this diversity and love each other without borders.

What does my lifestyle say about this?

Stalking has taken the form of FB My Day and IG story these days. This then gives us access on how our favorite actors, singers, and models live each day. And from stalking for several months, I have finally “discovered” how they are able to maintain their figure – it’s not as if they were specially made and favored by God. It is because their work forces them to. They work for it. Unlike normal citizens who work on offices and fields and go to gym after, part of these celebrities’ work is to go to the gym and workout. They have to maintain their figure so as to keep the commercial, tv, and movie projects coming. And while there are celebrities who are fond of hiking, this does not mean that they developed such bodies because of that once a year hike that they have done. Moreover, while we have the freedom to go and ransack every “unlimited deals” those crappy restaurants and bazaars offer, they have to stick with their vegetable leaves and stalks. They have all the money in the world, but can’t eat whatever they like eating. HAHA. Lifestyle is a matter of choice. Sadly, not everyone can leave the office and find work which is related to shaping and perfecting that “body goals” of yours. But of course, this is subject to discipline and self-control. Many have tried, others succeed, while most failed. HAHA.

Photo credit: Artworks of Guada (See FB Page for more inspiring graphics)

Of course, there are other factors to consider why some people just can’t lose weight even after a series of outdoor activities. But I guess, for now this post is enough. Like my post about Martial Law, I took time to do a lot of readings before posting my claim. Though it’s easy to explain this issue, but with the advent of fake news and stereotypes, it is way better to consult the experts since this is not my field. I am in no way demoralizing those who loves to comment about the “growth” of an individual, but I guess due respect and understanding must be practiced as well. Come to think of it, there’s always a kinder way of expressing our thoughts. I tell you, I badly wanted to rant and consume all negative energies to debate about this issue and drop names of people, but the mountains taught me how to control my feelings, where to properly vent them, and when to shut my goddamn mouth even if I badly wanted to say something. And I hope you do too.

Will hiking ever make me sexy? (c) Dakilanglaagan

If you still think hiking will make you sexy, let’s have a healthy discussion (slash argument) on Facebook and Instagram? Or better yet, let’s talk about other things on trail. See you!