This is not how I pictured 2022.
This is not even the blog I was supposed to first publish for this year – after everything we’ve gone through, from the pandemic to supertyphoon Odette, and that monthlong experience of no electricity and connectivity.
But all those drafts in the tabs of my head will get published in its perfect time. Eventually.
It’s February. And I’m supposed to write something that would make hearts flutter. But here I am now, reflecting over separation and parting ways – deliberately making sense of the silver lining that comes upon the heartbreak.
You see, there are so many decisions that we were forced to make in just a span of two years. Big decisions that totally changed the course of our lives. Among many of these entails leaving – work, families, friends, loved ones, and many relationships that could have bloomed otherwise.
In these heartbreaking moments of separations, I have always taken comfort in Isa Garcia’s “The Staying Philosophy” – that when people leave, you have to let them because most of the time, they have to.
However, we all know that it’s way easier said than done. No matter how we put it, separations are always difficult. We always have that fear of missing out embedded within us: the pain of being forgotten and getting all left out.
It takes a lot of wisdom to reconcile these thoughts. Sometimes, no matter what we do, we don’t totally get to that level of understanding. And it’s fine. As cliché as it goes: when the time is right, everything will fall into place.
Just recently, I got the chance to hike once again with the people I’ve been exhaustedly trailing with several years ago. Some I’ve been in constant communications with. Others, I’ve never heard of even before the pandemic.
And up until now, it still amazes me how beautifully things have changed. With new things – and interests happening in our lives – our conversations have become richer and fuller. From the latest gears and mountains-to-climb, now our discussions have moved to high blood pressure, finances, healthier food options, mental health, and deeper introspections into life.
Maybe this is what growing apart does to us. It makes us discover things beyond horizons that we exist in. It allows us to focus on other matters. It helps us dissect through the many challenges that come upon our lives and see through the many decisions – and indecisions – that we have to make.
We are the results of the many circumstances that happen to us.
And we continue to move forward – no matter how slow or steady – to see how else things go. Other times, we have to learn to take a step back just to see how far we’ve gone and if it’s still wise to keep going on such deserted path.
I’ve gone tired of imagining what the future would look like. The year 2020 proved us all wrong with the plans we thought we could put into realization. Odette seconded to this.
But still, I remain faithful that things will get better. Or that our courage will rise to meet all adversaries.
Que sera sera.
PS. I initially intended to make a blog post on the K-drama ‘Our Beloved Summer’. But after a number of deletes and edits, this is what came out. Maybe I’ve spread little insights from the series here and there. Pick up whatever nugget suits you. If you haven’t watched the drama yet, I highly recommend it.